And how to make it happen for you!
The following article is a guest post by our friends at BiCortex Languages and BiCortex Translations.
There are many reasons people relocate, from being transferred for work to a self-directed move to be closer to family, experience language immersion, or even just to have a new adventure.
While there are many rewards involved in moving abroad, if you’re considering a relocation or have recently relocated, know that the process of feeling at home – and like you belong – in your new location will be a process, and that it won’t just happen automatically. It takes effort, intentionality, and, most importantly, time.
Learn the Local Language
If you’re moving internationally to a new language and culture, one of your biggest challenges will be to learn the language. Understanding others – and being understood — goes a long way in cultural integration, not just with practical matters but also in building relationships.
“I have observed many people arrive in Tuscany with the idealistic vision of learning the language and enjoying leisurely days sipping wine under the sun. However, the reality is different,” says Marie, an expat who relocated to Italy from the United Kingdom several years ago.
While there are ways to have fun while learning a second language, it still takes rolling up your sleeves and doing the hard work. There are many resources out there to help you on your language-learning journey, from weekly lessons with programs like those offered by BiCortex Languages to apps like Duolingo or Babbel.
Many people find that using a variety of tools (e.g. lessons, apps, flashcards, watching foreign movies, and meeting with locals) is the best way to learn all the different aspects of a language. You don’t have to limit yourself to one particular way, especially as there are different learning styles, and having a variety of tools in your toolbelt will enhance your language learning experience.
Don’t Stay in an Expat Bubble
The temptation for many expats is to find other expats and make this their sole social circle. However, while it’s helpful to have friends who understand the struggles of being foreign, sticking together with other expats can easily keep you, well, stuck.
“To truly integrate,” advises Marie, “One must embrace the culture and connect with the local people. Many expatriates tend to form social circles with others who speak their native language, which, while comforting, can hinder the process of learning the culture, understanding it, and feeling like part of the community.”
Join Clubs and Groups
So how do you break out of the expat bubble? Keep in mind, building relational connections in a new place doesn’t just happen by itself – many times, it takes intentionality. Engaging in conversations, attending local events, and being open to making new acquaintances are necessary to develop a solid relational network.
Marie recounts, “In my experience, the first six months were quite lonely, and I even considered returning to the UK. However, after this period, I met someone, and while that played a part, the key turning point was being compelled to quickly learn the language to communicate effectively. The immersion allowed me to establish friendships and build a social life. Since then, I have never looked back.”
By getting more involved in your local community, you will start to build relationships, which will not only help make you feel like you belong but will also motivate you to communicate better in the language.
Remember Where You Came From
Homesickness is a typical issue for many expats. When coupled with the feelings of identity loss, the emotions can be overwhelming. However, one way to combat this is by incorporating familiar household items into your new living situation. This could include everything from family photos to your favorite blanket to the coffee cup you have used each morning for the past three years.
Erin, an American who moved to France with her husband and children, knew that the family would face homesickness in their new location. To help everyone feel connected to their past, she brought the area rug that had covered their living room floor for years in the States. The rust-colored rug had been a steady constant in their lives pre-move, and having it as such a vital and present part of their new living space added a level of comfort.
Recognize Important Rituals
Additionally, in their quest to integrate, Erin and her husband recognized the importance of rituals, both old and new. They made it a point to keep certain family traditions, like watching their favorite American football team play on the weekends, letting the kids skip school for the Thanksgiving holiday, and throwing a party for the 4th of July.
“It really makes a difference,” advises Erin. “Find those things that really matter to the family and bring them with you, whether it be items from the home, traditions, or both. Personally, I recommend both! You don’t want to feel like you left yourself on the other side of the ocean. Having these assurances will help you integrate better into your new life, because you won’t be grieving the past and always looking back.”
They also learned to embrace new traditions, like celebrating holidays that are unique to their host country. Having these rituals in their lives helped the family adjust and feel more like “themselves” as they learned to live in a new place.
Signs that You’ve Started to Integrate:
- You’ve Got the Proper Paperwork
Establishing your identification and residence in a new nation can be a daunting task, especially if you don’t speak the language. You’ll frequently need to gather a variety of documents and ensure that they are all completed appropriately, oftentimes every year or so. You also may need a variety of stamps or certificates to verify the legitimacy of your documents. Having the proper “papers” or documentation needed to legally live in your new location goes a long way in helping you feel settled and like you belong.
- Getting Around is Second-Nature
Knowing the ins and outs of your new hometown is another indicator that you’re truly getting the hang of life abroad. Whether it’s navigating the transportation system with ease, or, when driving, knowing the shortcuts to take to circumvent heavy traffic – when you find yourself easily pivoting as you make your way around town, it’s a good sign that you’re well-integrated.
- Local Way of Life Makes Sense
After living somewhere for a long time, the routines and mechanisms that govern life become second nature. While at first, it may have appeared chaotic, with no rhyme or reason, you’ll start to understand the cultural rules at play. Better yet, what you first thought strange upon arrival now feels somehow normal. You’ve learned social cues, what’s “faux pas” (what not to do), and the polite ways to ask for help in public. Better yet, you somehow find yourself agreeing with these cultural mores and are shocked when you see visitors violating the (mostly unspoken) rules.
5. You Appreciate Their Humor
According to Iris, a Bolivian who relocated to China for work, it took years to “get” Chinese humor. Four years, in fact.
“It took me four years of living in my new destination before I truly understood their humor. I had never found it funny before, but one day, I was watching TV – a stand-up (comedy) show – and suddenly, I found myself laughing at what was happening. I realized I had finally grasped their sense of humor and understood what they find funny. It was then that I started to feel less like a foreigner and more connected to the culture.”
6. You’ve Got Your Own Support Network
One of the final ways of knowing you’ve really integrated is when you have a network of friends and friendly acquaintances surrounding you. While it’s hard to start over relationally, the people you meet will enhance and enrich your expat experience in indescribable ways!
According to Erin, in France, “When a friend stops by the house for a chat on her way home from work, unplanned, or when I’m able to ask a neighborhood mom if she can pick my son up from school when I’m running late, it’s a great feeling. It took a lot of work and intentionality to have conversations with people even when I felt intimidated, to be friendly, to get out of my comfort zone, but now, I’m so glad I did.”
Remember, however, that building that network takes time – following the recommendations listed previously will help you get there. One day, you’ll look around with gratitude and realize that you’re part of an amazing community!
Conclusion
Although adjusting to a new location and culture has its challenges, the benefits often outweigh the struggles. Seeking to integrate culturally will go a long way in whether or not your experience abroad is a good one.
While it won’t be easy, if you put in the time and the effort to learn the language, join locals in their activities, and get comfortable in your new identity, you’ll get there. Then, the biggest sign that you’ve “arrived” and are finally at home in your new culture will surface: You’ll find yourself naturally helping others who are just starting out on their cultural integration journey.
